Three Holy Men and a Bear

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University at
Marquette in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that
preaching to people isn’t really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.  One thing led to another, and they
decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their
religion.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.
‘Well,’ he said, ‘I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.
Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around.  So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled
him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first
communion and confirmation.’

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best
fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, ‘WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don’t sprinkle! I went out and I
FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God’s HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with
me.  So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we
came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a
lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus. Hallelujah!

The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in  a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and
traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape. The Rabbi looked up and said: “Looking
back on it,….circumcision may not have been the best way to start…”

 

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