How to wash a cat

 1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water and have
both the seat and lid lifted.

3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him toward the
bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the
seat and lid. (You may need to stand on the lid so he cannot escape.)

CAUTION: DO NOT GET ANY PART OF YOUR BODY TOO CLOSE TO THE EDGE, AS HIS PAWS WILL BE REACHING OUT FOR ANY SURFACE THEY CAN FIND.

NOTE: THE CAT WILL SELF AGITATE AND MAKE AMPLE
SUDS. NEVER MIND THE NOISES THAT COME FROM THE TOILET, THE CAT IS ACTUALLY
ENJOYING THIS.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a “power wash
and rinse” which I have found to be quite effective.

6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there
are no people between the toilet and the outside door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can. Quickly lift the seat and lid.

8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside
where he will dry himself.

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