An all Expenses Paid Trip to Dublin for Halloween

Carla woke from a dream that had been so real, it felt like it had really happened. She could almost taste the Coors Light beer she had been drinking and smell the lingering scent of the guy she had been drinking with.

Normally her vivid dreams would fade as she came fully awake but this one was still like a real memory as she showered and dressed. She shivered a little at the name of the bar she had been drinking in, The Gravediggers.  Completely unsettled by the fact that as far as she knew, she had never been in a bar called The Gravediggers. Was there even a bar called The Gravediggers in Dublin

Her busy life took over, breakfast on the go with the first meeting at 7:30 but like a line in a song that rattles around your head all day The Gravediggers haunted her till lunchtime

Sitting in Katzingers Deli in downtown Dublin, nibbling an Ari’s Open Door Pastrami sandwich and a filter coffee she got to thinking that she must have been in a bar somewhere in Dublin with that name. Katzingers has a no Wi-Fi or social media allowed policy with phones left at reception so she left half her sandwich and got the coffee transferred to go. Outside she searched for Gravedigger’s bar Dublin. Nothing showed up for a Gravedigger’s bar Dublin Ohio, but Kavanagh’s bar, Prospect Square, Dublin, Ireland was shown as also being known as The Gravediggers. Carla had never been to Ireland; how could she have dreamt so vividly of a place in which she had never been?

She went back to work thinking she would pop into The Dublin Village Tavern on the way home to see if old Timmy the Barman would know of a Gravediggers Bar in Dublin, Ohio

She arrived at the Dublin village Tavern at five o’clock, just in time for the happy hour kick off. As is usual in an Irish bar the happy “hour” lasted from five to seven and the place was humming.

It was 10 minutes before she caught Jimmy’s eye

“Hi Carla long time no see how have you been”

“Good Jimmy, busy at work as usual, not enough time for socialising”

“Nobody ever had “I wish I spent more time in the office” written on their headstone Carla, there’s more to life than work you know”

“I know Jimmy, but a girl has to get on”

“Yeah well, you just be careful, believe me the time goes by real quick, what will you have?”

“Coors light Jimmy, please”

“There you go Carla good to see you again” He tapped the bar twice, signifying that it was on the House

It was 20 minutes before Jimmy was at her end of the bar again “will you go again Carla” he asked

“Yeah Jimmy sure, and I have a question for you”

“That sounds very serious” he said smiling as he uncapped the Coors Light

“Jimmy, I had a really strange dream last night so real I still feel like it really happened”

“Go on, lay it on me, dream analysis all part of your friendly barman’s box of tricks”

“Did you ever hear of a bar called The Gravedigger’s here in Dublin?”

“Not this Dublin Carla, but here’s a thing, the last bar I worked in in Ireland was Kavanagh’s on Prospect Square it’s also known as The Gravedigger’s, how’s that for a coincidence?”

“OK Jimmy let me describe what I saw, it’s a real old bar, all old worn dark pine, bare wooden floors. The front part where I walked in had one table on the left with a few old guys sitting around and an old black dog lying on the floor beside them, there was two more old guys sitting on stools at the bar, all drinking pints of Guinness. There was bat wing doors through to a bigger section, again all old wood and bare floors and that’s where I was sitting with the guy I was drinking with in my dream.”

“So you’ve been on the Internet checking it out then” Jimmy said with a grin.

Carla opened her mouth to speak, hold that thought Carla, gotta look after other customers”

He was back in 10 minutes “go on tell me all”

“The thing is Jimmy, I did go online but the only thing it showed was a modern type of pub that served food, nothing like I saw in the dream”

“Jeez Carla, that’s weird, because you have just described the old bar area of The Gravediggers to a T”

Carla just stared at him “back in a flash” he said and went along the bar serving other customers.

With the bottle of beer in her hand she swung around on the stool and surveyed the crowd and realised why it had been a long time since she had been in this bar. It was full of pretentious wannabe next big Internet success nerds and their airhead female hang around’s. She turned back to the bar so that she would not catch the eye of some dumbass who she would have to tell to tell to fuck off.

Her phone beeped telling her there was a new Facebook post that she might be interested in. She opened Facebook and without having to scroll too far came across a huge advertisement that said in very large letters, win an all expenses trip to Dublin Ireland for Halloween with United Airlines, all you need is to be over eighteen, have a valid passport, your address and a telephone number to text you if you’re a winner, click here to enter.

“How fucking weird is that” she laughed to herself and clicked to enter. The entry form was simple, your name, your date of birth, your passport number, your telephone number and click here. She had all her personal details in a file on her phone so she filled in the details and pressed send

Jimmy arrived back in front of her and she shouted, “you have no idea what just happened Jimmy, I just entered a competition on Facebook for an all expenses paid trip to Dublin Ireland for Halloween how mad is that?”

Jimmy just looked at her for some seconds and said “if you win that prize Carla I would suggest that you do not go anywhere near The Gravediggers on Halloween”

“Why the hell not Jimmy”

“Because people disappear from that pub on Halloween night Carla”

“Get a life Jimmy, I don’t believe in all that ghost and spirits and witches shit on Halloween”

“Well, I‘m a bit of a sceptic too Carla but there have been strange disappearances of people who were drinking in that pub on Halloween who were never heard of again. There is a rumour that the High class private clinic in number thirteen on the other side of Prospect Square is a secret resting place for a Vampire, it might even be Dracula himself controlling all the vampires sleeping in the Graveyard next door. It is said that he comes up from the cellar every year on Halloween to have his blood replaced. While it’s only a rumour, the place is always closed on Halloween and November 1st.”

“Go on Jimmy, you Irish are well known for your tall tales and anyway, what the chance of me winning that trip, there will be thousands of people entering the competition, time to go, I’ll let you know if I win” She waved and left him looking after her, shaking his head.

On her way home she messaged a link to the competition to three of her friends. They all came back within minutes to say that the link didn’t work. She went back to her Facebook page, it was still there so she sent a screen shot, they all came back asking her why she sent a blank screen shot to them. One of them messaged back that someone has obviously hacked her Facebook page and was messing with her head. She switched off her phone, deciding to get the tech guys in work to look at it the following day.

The hacking specialist Tech guy handed her back her phone at eleven am the following day, “Nothing there Carla, clean as a whistle, definitely no sign of anyone messing with your Facebook page”

“Thanks Doug, you’re the best” she said, switching her phone on and logging in to Facebook, there was no sign of the competition. As she placed the phone on her desk, it lit up with a text in big letters saying “WINNER” click here.

The click through page said in flashing words “Congratulations you have won the all expenses paid trip to Dublin, you will receive your prize details and tickets within two days. `She wasn’t sure if the feeling was dread or excitement

Two weeks later, Carla was sleeping on a United Airlines overnight flight from Chicago O’Hare to Dublin Ireland.

The flight landed at Terminal 2 at 10:04am the following morning. Waiting at the baggage carousel she switched on her phone. Checking for a service, a message said, “You do not have a service on this phone in this location” Forty minutes later Carla walked through the arrivals exit door. Her anticipation and excitement levels, or was it anxiety, were higher than she had ever experienced. They notched up a level when she saw who was holding the passenger greet card with her name on it, it was the guy she had been drinking with in her dream.

“Hi Carla” he shouted, waving and smiling broadly, “My name is Tony, let me take your bag, the car is outside”

Outside, Carla almost laughed out loud when he opened the back door of the Maybach limo with blacked out windows.

Sitting inside as it whooshed out of the Airport, Tony spread his arms wide, “Welcome to Dublin Ireland Carla, I’ll be your guide for the next two days. Today we will be taking it easy, we will get you checked into your hotel, you will have some hours to rest after your long flight and we will then visit the city to have dinner to give you a feel for the original Dublin, how does that sound?” Feeling slightly overwhelmed all Carla could do was nod as she said “yeah, that sound fine to me Tony”

Half an hour later she was in a small suite at the top of the Skylon Hotel, bypassing check-in as Tony already had the key. “I’ll pick you up at seven” he said, bowing slightly as he backed out of the room and closed the door.

Unpacked, she lay on the bed, again not sure if her feelings were excitement or anxiety, she was certainly feeling a little controlled, there was an intensity about Tony that she couldn’t quite put her finger on. She checked her phone again, receiving the same message.

He arrived back on the dot of seven. The evening was uneventful, a short walk into the city, Tony giving a running commentary about everything they were seeing. Over dinner in a Sardinian restaurant he explained that the following day would be much different, a full tour of all the main sites of Dublin followed by a trip to Prospect Square for a Halloween Party and finishing up with some drinks at the Gravedigger’s pub, he smiled and said, “I believe you already know the place” She couldn’t help the slight shiver that ran up her spine at the intensity of his eyes. They agreed on nine o’clock the following morning for breakfast.

After breakfast, they took a bus to O’Connell St, a new experience for Carla, public transport was not something she had ever used in Dublin Ohio. The Hop-on Hop-off tour bus took up most of the morning and after a pleasant lunch in the Merrion Hotel, they spent some hours visiting the shops in the Grafton Street area with Carla accumulating quite a number of very expensive bags full of designer label purchases. This required the use of the Maybach again to get them back to her hotel. Carla still had a sense of unease around Tony, she had a feeling he was hovering around her, totally enveloping her space.

The Maybach appeared at the hotel again at eight o’clock with Tony on board. At Prospect Square the central green had been laid out for a communal Halloween party. A huge bonfire had just been lit and preparations made for a firework display while everyone helped themselves to the free food provided by the local resident’s association.

When she saw the gates to the Glasnevin Cemetery on the west side of the square she asked Tony about its history, he explained that it was the biggest graveyard in Dublin with many famous people buried there, it was especially noted for the many elaborate family mausoleums, his strange smile when he said this unnerved her and she shivered as she looked through the gates, she had an overwhelming sense that it was a living thing and there was a coldness flowing outwards from it that was at odds with the temperature in the Square.

“Come on” said Tony, “let’s go into the Gravediggers for some beer and I’ll tell you all about the legend of how it got its name. Remembering Jimmy the barman’s warning Carla said she would rather not go in this evening, that she could visit the following day before her flight left for America. “Come on Carla, you must go in this evening to complete the destiny of your dream, what’s there to be afraid of? there are lots of people around and I’m right here with you” although he was smiling, the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.

Sitting at the bar, the scene exactly as she had seen in her dream two weeks previously, she began to relax while thinking that the Coors light in Dublin Ireland tasted a little different than it did in Dublin Ohio.

The people still partying on the square didn’t notice the couple walking around the perimeter of the square and going into number thirteen

Carla woke up naked on a bed in a warm dimly lit bedroom, standing above her was a tall dark haired, white skinned man with ruby red lips, dressed from head to toe in black, with a black cape, lined with red silk thrown over his shoulder.

“Welcome my dear” his silk smooth voice was so mesmerising Carla felt herself falling into an abyss, “you have been chosen my dear to be the mother of my children, you are very privileged person” He leaned over and kissed her throat, his eye teeth sliding into her skin and she was lost…..

 

 

 

Apocalypse not

The Apocalypse is coming, you’re all going to die screams the headlines again……

I remember being told in the early 1970’s, while working in the motor industry, that I should find another career as the oil would be gone by the mid nineties and cars would revert to being pulled by horses…..

While we need to focus our efforts on sustainability and proper use of the resources that our planet can provide for a potential global population of 11 Billion. (Hans Rosling “showing the facts about population” on YouTube) and because we live on the third rock from the sun in a volatile cosmos, climate change will be a factor one way or the other so we need to limit, as best we can, the impact of human behaviour on our “Pale Blue Dot”  Having said that, I am in totally in agreement with the content  in this article from the Boston Globe.

Apocalypse not, The Boston Globe

The Christian Brothers Leather

Irish Christian Brothers strap
The Christian Brothers ‘leather’ a mass produced circa 30cm (one foot) length of leather that had old pennies sewn into their several layers. ‘Six of the best’ on each outstretched hand would have you numb for ten or fifteen minutes before the excruciating pain kicked in.

 

Closing the city down when there is an accident on the M50

I passed north bound on the M50 at 8:35 on the morning of the 11th November the first of the recent M50 accidents. At that time, 3 hours 15 minutes after the accident, the only thing that was left on the roadway was the vehicles that were involved, the CSI team and another team of Garda managing the closure of the M50 at the N3 off ramp

An Irish Times picture shows that the outside lane (and most of the centre lane) was free of any obstruction
M50 Accident 11th November 2015

As far as I am concerned there is no reason why this one lane could not have been opened. There were enough police managing the closure to make this possible safely.

I would challenge the CSI team to tell us what extra they could discover from this outside lane, in the five hours following this picture been taken that they did not get in the previous 3 hours. Those numbers may not be perfectly accurate but I think people get my drift.

Accidents where people die need to be properly investigated and as one lady commented on radio last week, while we might have been delayed, we got to our destination alive and well so I am not advocating a lessening of CSI activity, I just think that the CSI team should include someone who focus is on the efficiency of the investigation in the context of getting the road open again.

The Top Five Regrets of the Dying

Bronnie Ware, Top five regrets of the dyingBronnie Ware, is an Australian palliative care nurse providing medical care for people during the last weeks of their lives. Recording the dying thoughts of her patients she wrote a book “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying”.

This is her Top five regrets of the dying

  1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of    me.
  2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
  3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
  4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
  5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

We have all heard these expressed in different ways. How many of these ring a bell with you?

What are you going to do about it?

16 Irish and 148 Britons Dead

Shock horror if this headline was in relation to a terrorist attack but it’s not, it is the number of people that will be killed on our roads this month, mostly by cars and predominantly by driver error combined with inappropriate speed.

We have a maximum speed limit of 120kph in Ireland and 70mph and yet it is still legal to sell,
buy and drive cars that can travel at speeds of up to 260kph/160mph.

Cars are regularly advertised on their power and 0-100kph time.

We know that speed and cars kill, we do nothing…..

If we are really serious about our shock horror when people die, this is something that we can actually control.

The question is this, why does nobody seem to care? Are the car manufacturers and the countries that benefit most from their manufacture so powerful that our politicians won’t even recognise this as an issue, never mind doing something about it.

With modern chip technology it is very easy to limit a car’s top speed, we do it with trucks.The same technology could be used in combination with imbedded RFID readers to prevent cars from braking a speed limit in a controlled zone.

All that’s required is the will to do it. Or have we actually decided that killing 200 Irish and 1775 Britons by car every year is in fact an acceptable level of death?

In Defence of Drinking Alcohol

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, “It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.”
~ Jack Handy

WARNING: Drinking alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

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“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they Wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.”
~Frank Sinatra

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

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“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”
~ Henny Youngman

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

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“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case . Coincidence? I think not.”
~ Stephen Wright

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. As a certain irish CEO found out recently (listen here)

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“When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven!”
~ Brian O’Rourke

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

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“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
~ Benjamin Franklin

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

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“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”
~ Dave Barry

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them!

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To some it’s a six-pack, to me it’s a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~Dave Howell

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.
Here’s how it went:

“Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest! ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think are whispering when you are not.

Bill Clinton Shakes hands with JFK

What an interesting picture

More about the meeting and it’s influence on Bill Clinton HERE

 

Loud Americans and a Kerryman Joke

Kerryman JokeThe recent notice in a Kerry Restaurant regarding “Loud Americans” shows that the traditional stupidity in that neck of the woods is alive and well.

While I think the attitude of the “Powers that be” is to ignore this idiot, if that sign had of said “No Travellers, or some version of the old English notice “No Blacks, No Irish, No dogs” These gobshites would have their business closed down and find themselves in the courts for racial prejudice.

Hopefully it will result in the boycotting of the establishment and they go out of business

Gobshite
Loud-mouthed person who talks a lot, but nothing with any value – as in shite coming out of their gob (mouth)

In America, there are Polish Jokes, In England there are Irish Jokes, Sweden/Norwegian, Holland/Belgium, Germany/Denmark. In Ireland we have “Kerryman Jokes”, this idiot is one of the biggest jokes around

Brendan Palmer is CEO of
Electronic Recycling and DravTec Ireland in Dublin

 

The Spirit of Annie

In memory of my wonderful mother whose birthday is today. Although she died on the 30th of May twelve years ago, her spirit still lives on

The Spirit of Annie

The Spirit of Annie is not gone
All around it still lives on
Kate, Brendan, Noreen, Ger
Denis junior are all still there
Lessons learned on Annie’s knee
Work hard to serve, keep your spirit free
In the children of her children
In their children too
The spirit of Annie flows strong and true

Although her body has now gone
The spirit of Annie still lives on
And will live on
Forever

©Brendan Palmer 30th May 2004