They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that
preaching to people isn’t really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.  One thing led to another, and they
decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their
religion.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.
‘Well,’ he said, ‘I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.
Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around.  So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled
him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first
communion and confirmation.’

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best
fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, ‘WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don’t sprinkle! I went out and I
FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God’s HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with
me.  So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we
came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a
lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus. Hallelujah!

The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in  a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and
traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape. The Rabbi looked up and said: “Looking
back on it,….circumcision may not have been the best way to start…”

In both presentations there were examples of local vested interests objecting to infrastructure developments that would be of benefit to the whole country, 

From Gabriel,  “Draining the Shannon and sending the captured water to Dublin”. Two Birds with one stone; alleviate of the annual flooding along the Shannon and help solve the water shortage in the greater Dublin area.

From John,  “The North East Pylon Pressure (NEPP) group” demanding that High Powered Electric Cables be put underground, even though this is both technical and financial lunacy (my words not John’s)  

In answering my question as to how we could prevent minority pressure groups and other cranks holding up important infrastructure developments, just because they can, John also explained that the Shell Gas project in the west of Ireland will have a total delivery time of 18 years from start to finish, the norm anywhere else in the world would be 6 years. Why are the oil companies not queuing up to invest in Ireland??

There needs to be some change here, of course people need to be allowed voice their legitimate concerns and have them listened to and addressed but, if companies or organisations are operating within the rules set down in our planning laws, individuals or small groups of individuals should not be allowed to object and hold up the development, just because they can.

Gabriel D’Arcy made the very valid point that companies or organisations also need to be more professional when planning projects, identifying potential issues or areas of conflict and dealing with them in a sensible manner, before they become a problem. 

If we are to dig ourselves out of the hole we are currently in, we need to speed up the delivery of good infrastructure projects and our planning laws urgently need to be changed to allow this to happen.

We need solid guidelines that take account of local and national needs and once a project is planned and executed within those guidelines, individuals or minority groups should not be allowed object. 

There should certainly be financial consequences for any individual or group that holds up a project for spurious reasons.

Brendan Palmer, Problem solver.
Developer of successful business strategies for projects in Ireland and across borders and cultures

He noted that first came her date of birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own;
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real,
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy’s being read
With your life’s actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

Linda Ellis’ personal site

The current members of the houses should remember that not all people do things for the benefit of the greater good and unfortunately, the ones who could benefit from this clause in our constitution are likely to be aggressively ambitious enough to get themselves into a position of power, from where they could use it.

We do need to allow the Dáil have some form of investigative powers but while this amendment may help fix the current issue, I think that the potential for abuse further down the line far outweighs any benefit of inserting it into the constitution in its current format. It confers far too wide ranging powers on the Houses of the Oireachtas including the Senate, which is not even elected by the general population. 

I believe we should vote no on this one and tell the Government to go back to the drawing board

At least then we would get an opportunity to vote on a good amendment to the constitution.  If we find out later that we made a mistake, the abuser would never let us have a referendum to change it.

Mary Davis
She is going to polish up our tarnished reputation. Perhaps it is a good job our reputation is tarnished, if it wasn’t what else would she do for seven years

Sean Gallagher
He also sees us as damaged and wants to help us create a new community minded, enterprise friendly and socially included Ireland.

Michael D Higgins
Has had people share their fears and challenges, their strengths hopes and ideas for the future and has been inspired by their strength of character, positivity and generosity the face of serious economic and social difficulties.

Martin McGuiness
If elected President he is committed to taking only the average wage, is that the average minimum wage, industrial wage, semi state workers wage, civil servants wage or politicians wage  and, he wants us all to speak Irish, he can’t speak it but, he’s learning

Gay Mitchel
Would put the welfare of our people at the heart of the Presidency and would like to continue much of the practice of President McAleese by quietly working, often below the radar, to make our country a better place

David Norris
Hopes to be at the head of our extraordinary comeback in order to guide us and help us empathise and understand people. Of course, we will all need to study Greek Philosophy to get to grips with his version of understanding people

Dana
Nothing from her own stable yet but this link has some useful info http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/opinion/2011/0928/1224304855725.html

In a Bangkok temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

Cocktail lounge , Norway :
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

Doctors office, Rome :
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Dry cleaners, Bangkok :
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the main road to Mombassa, leaving Nairobi :
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.

In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES .

Tokyo hotel’s rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR..

In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

Hotel , Yugoslavia :
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel , Japan :
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

A sign posted in Germany ‘s Black Forest :
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE..

Hotel, Zurich :
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand :
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen :
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

A laundry in Rome :
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME..

And finally, a sign in in an Alabama Motel:
WIVES FIRST NAMES TO BE REGISTERED AT CHECK-IN, EVEN IF SOMEBODY ELSE’S WIFE…

The reality is everybody loves him because although his comments may not be helpful in diplomatic circles, like the bold faced four year old telling it as it is at the top of his voice, it affords us an opportunity to laugh while feigning shock horror

Here are some of the better ones…………

“In education, if in nothing else, the Scotsman knows what is best for him. Indeed, only a Scotsman can really survive a Scottish education.” Said when he was made Chancellor of Edinburgh University in November 1953.

“So you’re responsible for the kind of crap Channel Four produces!” Speaking to then chairman of the channel, Michael Bishop, in 1962.

“It looks like the kind of thing my daughter would bring back from her school art lessons” On being shown “primitive” Ethiopian art in 1965.

While on an official visit to China in 1986 he told a group of British exchange students staying in the city of Xian: “If you stay here much longer you’ll all be slitty-eyed.”

“You’re not wearing mink knickers, are you?” Philip charms fashion writer Serena French at a World Wildlife Fund gathering in 1993.

Speaking to a driving instructor in Oban, Scotland, in 1995 he asked: “How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?”

He told a 1986 meeting of the World Wildlife Fund: “If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it.”

During the 1981 recession he mused: “Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed.”

Were you here in the bad old days? … That’s why you can’t read and write then!” To parents during a visit to Fir Vale Comprehensive School in Sheffield, which had suffered poor academic reputation.

When accepting a figurine from a woman during a visit to Kenya in 1984 he asked: “You are a woman aren’t you?”

The Duke asked a British student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea in 1998: “You managed not to get eaten then?”

To a British tourist in Hungary in 1993 he quipped: “You can’t have been here that long — you haven’t got a pot belly.”

“Aren’t most of you descended from pirates?”, he asked an islander in the Cayman Islands in 1994.

Following the 1996 Dunblane massacre, he questioned the need for a firearms ban: “If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?”

“Reichskanzler.” Prince Philip used Hitler’s title to address German chancellor Helmut Kohl during a speech in Hanover in 1997.

“What about Tom Jones? He’s made a million and he’s a bloody awful singer.” Response to a comment at a small-business lunch about how difficult it is in Britain to get rich.

In 1999 in Cardiff he told children from the British Deaf Association, who were standing by a Caribbean steel band: “If you’re near that music it’s no wonder you’re deaf”.

And what exotic part of the world do you come from?” Asked in 1999 of Tory politician Lord Taylor of Warwick, whose parents are Jamaican. He replied: “Birmingham.”

People think there’s a rigid class system here, but dukes have even been known to marry chorus girls. Some have even married Americans.” In 2000.

I wish he’d turn the microphone off!” The Prince expresses his opinion of Elton John’s performance at the 73rd Royal Variety Show, 2001.

“Do people trip over you?” Meeting a wheelchair-bound nursing-home resident in 2002

While touring a factory near Edinburgh in 2002 he said a fuse box was so crude it “looked as though it had been put in by an Indian”.

Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?” To a wheelchair-bound Susan Edwards, and her guide dog Natalie in 2002.

To Australian Aborigines during a visit to Australia in 2002 he asked: “Do you still throw spears at each other?”

There’s a lot of your family in tonight.” After glancing at business chief Atul Patel’s name badge during a 2009 Buckingham Palace reception for 400 influential British Indians to meet the Royal couple.

In 2010 on asking a female Sea Cadet what she did for a living, and being told that she worked in a nightclub (as a barmaid), the Duke asked “Is it a strip club?” Observing her surprise he dismissed the suggestion saying that it was “probably too cold for that anyway”.

That’s a nice tie… Do you have any knickers in that material?” Discussing the tartan designed for the Papal visit with then-Scottish Tory leader Annabel Goldie last year.